Idealism and Presence

I have been called an idealist. It’s a badge I wear with pride.

After three years of teaching in some pretty difficult environments, I claimed that teaching “grounded my idealism” and it did. But it seems that the past six months has shown me that my idealism is still very much alive. Anyone who has been following any of my social media outputs can plainly see that my idealism manifests itself in an outpouring of my opinions online.

I have gone on so many tears that I can’t even keep up with them all. I’ve railed against churches, politicians, the media, schools systems, and on and on. I’ve found myself creating a system of elevation in which my “enlightened” opinion is superior and those that disagree “just don’t get it.” Grounding was needed.

A bit of the grounding came after a sermon I preached while I was in Helena on fall break. A good friend, who is well versed in bringing me back down to earth, told me she was distracted by the strong content of my sermon by my punchy delivery.

“But I’ve learned all these great things, and its my time to set people straight,” I thought to myself.

“Do you not understand yet?” Jesus said to his disciples over and over.

I hear him saying the same to me.

"Yes, of course I do! I’ve got this figured out, and its time to go change some folks’ minds!" I think to myself.

I see Jesus smiling and laughing my way… “Haha, just keep going. One day you will see just how much you have yet to understand.”

As I think back on all my rallying points, my self-righteous indignation towards those who refuse to see the world the way I see it, I hear Jesus words “Do you not understand yet?”

The answer to that question is no. I do not. But I will keep moving forward, hopefully with a bit more humility.

I firmly believe there are issues about which I should scream loudly to anyone that will listen. But I am simultaneously reminded of a story about a boy who cried out so many times that people stopped listening.

My idealism tells me to cry out all day everyday, in whatever manner I feel compelled. If folks are offended, they need to get over it.

But the problem with idealism is that it doesn’t always work so well in reality.

Regardless, the point where the beauty of idealism meets the harshness of reality is the point where I feel called to exist.

It is to that point I will bring all my frenzied, hyper, shouts for justice.

It is to that point I bring who I am and marvel at what can happen when I allow myself to become truly present in the fullness of a situation.

“Vocation is where our greatest passion meets the world's greatest need.” As I search for that vocation, I am reminded of the necessity of my presence here.

In a season of learning, rest, and discernment, I pray that I can simultaneously ignite my passions while cultivating the seasoning of my words.

Amen.