Sunday, October 16, 2011

balance.

It helps, now and then, to step back and take a long view.
The Kingdom is not only beyond our efforts,
it is even beyond our vision.

I have read this prayer countless times, but so easily find myself loosing sight of the themes that it highlights. Today I was sitting in Helena's version of a "coffee shop," a bed and breakfast that the owners graciously opened and allowed some TFA folks to spend their Sunday afternoon working. Because I for some reason woke up and worked from 1 AM to 5 AM Sunday morning, I had most of my work done, so I took some much need time to write, pray, and reflect. It never ceases to amaze me how we marginalize and set aside the most important aspects of our lives and replace them with stresses about menial tasks and unimportant frustrations. I haven't written on this blog in awhile for a multitude of reasons, but one of them is that I've found myself constantly working, and constantly pushing myself harder to achieve results. Today I find myself realizing that it is impossible to pour out without investing time to fill myself. For those to whom I haven't spoken recently who are yearning for answers to more detail oriented questions such as, "How is your new job? What has the change from the public school to the charter school been like?" I unfortunately do not have fully formulated answers to those questions. The short of it is that I enjoy what I am doing. Its hard work, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Today I rest in the fact that my sole efforts have never and will never bring about the change that I desire to see in my students and in the life of this county. I rest in the fact that I am doing substantially important work that will never be complete. I rest in the fact that I am a worker, not a master builder. I'll let the rest of the prayer take it from here....

We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction
of the magnificent enterprise that is God’s work.
Nothing we do is complete,
which is a way of saying that the Kingdom always lies beyond us.
No statement says all that could be said.
No prayer fully expresses our faith.
No confession brings perfection.
No pastoral visit brings wholeness.
No program accomplishes the Church’s mission.
No set of goals and objectives includes everything.
This is what we are about.
We plant the seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted,
knowing that they hold future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that produces effects far beyond our capabilities.
We cannot do everything,
and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
This enables us to do something,
and to do it very well.
It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way,
an opportunity for the Lord’s grace to enter and do the rest.
We may never see the end results,
but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker.
We are workers, not master builders;
ministers, not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future that is not our own. Amen.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

blogalicious.

maybe i haven’t updated in so long because the semester was crazy busy, and it just escaped my mind, or maybe i haven’t updated in awhile because i have stopped looking at what i do as this crazy sequence of events that are extremely temporary and started looking at it more as just my life. either way, that was a crazy long, run-on sentence. i found it doubtful that anybody wanted to hear about my day to day wake up, eat breakfast, go to school routine, but i suppose there are still those out there who are interested in what i’m up to. three parts: part 1 - the semester, part 2 - next year, part 3 - thoughts.

part 1 - so the switch from teaching the fluff class to teaching algebra was certainly the best thing that happened to me this year. i realized just how much i love teaching algebra 1, and how vital it is for kids' long term success in math. i taught all my favorite objectives from last year, and i tried like crazy to get those kiddos ready for the end-of-course test. test scores should be coming in within the next week or two, and i will update once we get those. i think they will be pretty solid, as most of the kids were double blocked (took two math classes) for algebra this year. the practice test scores were a lot higher than last year’s scores, so i hope to see some pretty substantial growth. despite the fact that this year was a bit crazy overall, (with our district laying off a fourth of the staff, our ninth grade academy principal being out for surgery over half the year, and half of the school getting reshuffled at christmas time) i managed to hold it down to the best of my abilities in room 7, and teach those kiddos a bit of math. other highlights of the year include but are not limited to: cooking breakfast for the kiddos the day of the state test, teaching and playing ultimate frisbee with several kids on several different occasions, ten or so study sessions at wendy’s before the end-of-course test, doing insanity with a couple of the kiddos, and a water ballon fight with several kids on the last day of school. good times.

part 2 - next year i will be staying in helena, ar teaching algebra 1 at KIPP delta college preparatory school. (http://www.kippdelta.org/) i hesitate to say too much about next year because i am extremely excited about it, and i have a tendency to get a little amped up about things (this may come as a shock to many). things i do know: i will be pushed extremely hard to get results, i will have an administration behind me that supports what i do and knows how to develop good teachers, and i will work. a lot. this summer i’ve been working through my curriculum (saxon algebra 1) for next year, and that stuff is on an entirely different level of rigor than what i’ve been teaching for the past two years. this is good. this will push me to push the kids. it will be quite difficult, but i am ready.

part 3 - what has this semester taught me? or more importantly, what has this past two years taught me? i am officially done with “teach for america,” and now i’m just a regular ole teacher in a charter school. i can barely even begin to answer the question of what i’ve learned this past two years, and i think i will be answering that question for the next ten years, or maybe for the rest of my life. i know i am a different person than the one that walked in the doors of central high school on day one, not knowing that i was about to have my rear end (i’ll leave it G rated for Mee-Maw) handed to me. “their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. If what has been built survives, the builder will receive what he is due.” - 1 corinthians 3:13 - 14. my kids have taught me through the fire. they have run me through the gauntlet over and over. they have taught me that all the idealistic, “hopey changey stuff” (cite sarah palin) is all great in theory, but you better come ready to bring it. i’ve learned that the hopey, changey stuff is meaningless without solid planning, solid expectations, solid execution, and on and on it goes. several people have asked me as of late, “so what happened to seminary? i thought you were going into the ministry?” first, this is most certainly ministry work, and i have started to see more and more that the achievement gap is one of, if not the, greatest injustices of our generation. i cannot walk away from that after two years in search of something more substantial. does that rule seminary out? of course not. we all know i change my mind every day, but for now, i am content where i am. i am excited about a new chapter. i am hopeful, and i am ready to plunge back into the depths of teaching algebra 1 to some crazy crazy kiddos in helena, ar. summer school starts in a couple of weeks...... peace.

Monday, January 17, 2011

life is good.

per usual, i feel the need to begin this blog post with the obligatory, "sorry i haven't updated this bad boy in awhile." much has occurred in the life of this teacher since the last time i updated, so lets get to it. as always, i will break the update up into parts. part 1 - my new teaching slate, part 2 - war damn eagle, part 3 - other aspects of life

part 1 - so as many of you know, i am (very thankfully) back to teaching math this semester. i have five classes of "math lab," which is basically algebra remediation and one class of algebra 1. in my math lab classes, i have all the ninth graders who are not in pre-ap classes, and i am covering many of the objectives that they have already seen in their regular algebra 1 class. its great because i know that all of the kids i am working with need the extra dosage of math. at the same time, it is quite annoying when all the children say "we already know this stuff." my response: while i love you dear children, let me assure you that you do not "already know this stuff." i would be more than happy to show you your test scores if you do not believe me. that wasn't nice, but very true. my one algebra 1 class... hot mess. i have 25 students in that class, all of which are repeater students, each and every one of them. i had about 1/4 of them last year, and the rest of them are very infamous names around central high school. if you went through all of the office referrals at central in a given month, i would bet that my 3rd period class would make up around 25% of the stack. haha. thus far, they have remained relatively calm, and they have done most of the work that i have asked them to do. i think i started off on a good foot with most of them, and i hope that it stays that way. thursday, i received yet another addition to an already stellar lineup. frank ross had just returned from the alternative school, and he walked in ten minutes into my lesson. the rest of the class responds, "oh this is just too much mr. rah, this class be too bad for you to teach." don't worry children, i have had the same thought, but i haven't given up hope yet. i have a ton of work to do with that class if they are going to learn any algebra. pray for me. pray for them :)

part 2 - oh yeah, and auburn won the national championship. ooohhh sweet goodness when that field goal went through those uprights i ran around chris richey's house like a raving lunatic, and then i cried just a little bit. my pastor (the aforementioned chris richey) was gracious enough to set up a projector in his house and let me invite a whole host of people over to watch the game (which for most of the guests was secondary in the entertainment category to my screaming and pacing back and forth from the living room to the kitchen.) i haven't really come off the high of the win yet, and i hope that i don't for a little while. from the undefeated yet thwarted by probation team of 1993, to the crap fest team of 1998, to the underachieving team of 2003, to the undefeated yet screwed by the bcs team of 2004, to the 5-7 mess that took the field my last year at auburn, to national champions. what a sweet feeling it was. for true auburn tigers who have battled it out for four or five years: kodi burns, josh bynes, zach ethridge, aairon saivage, lee ziemba, and even fumble ridden fannin. those boys deserved it. war damn eagle.

part 3 - well in other news.... i have begun my training for a full maraton. i am 92% sure that i am going to die by the time i hit mile 18, but i've already shelled out that money for the full, so there is no stopping me now. i even got myself some official, fancy running shoes. we shall see how this goes. congrats to glenn and lt for a wonderful marriage ceremony and a reception complete with lots of cupid shuffling and teaching folks how to dougie. i enjoyed every second of it. love you guys. the children have been relatively calm this semester aside from them screaming at me to stamp their do-now cards, shouting out incorrect answers at the top of their lungs when they haven't been called on, and informing me that i need to go ahead and get married because i am getting old. one of my favorite kids from last year files papers for me after school, and she is constantly warning me that if i keep teaching at central, i will most certainly never want to have kids. haha. speaking of staying at central, it is certainly an option next year. i am still convinced i will be in helena next year, just uncertain if and where i will be teaching. we shall see. hope everyone is doing well. peace.